BEST JOKE YOU GOT...CLEAN.
10-07-2009, 01:17 PM
#31
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,523
Sex after death.
A couple made a deal that whoever died first would
come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact.
"Marion .... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful!
What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then
it's off to the golf course .. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun
and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch
(you'd be proud - lots of greens)
another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex
the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!"
"Not exactly ..... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona"
come back and inform the other of the afterlife.
Their biggest fear was that there was no afterlife at all.
After a long life together, the husband was the first to die.
True to his word, he made the first contact.
"Marion .... Marion"
"Is that you, Bob?"
"Yes, I've come back like we agreed."
"That's wonderful!
What's it like?"
"Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then
it's off to the golf course .. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun
and then have sex a couple of more times. Then I have lunch
(you'd be proud - lots of greens)
another romp around the golf course, then pretty much have sex
the rest of the afternoon.
After supper, it's back to golf course again.
Then it's more sex until late at night.
I catch some much needed sleep and then the next day it starts all over again"
"Oh, Bob you must be in Heaven!"
"Not exactly ..... I'm a rabbit on a golf course in Arizona"
10-08-2009, 06:17 AM
#34
Senior Member
SENIOR BUILDER
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Newburgh, IN
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by TheRabbit
There is only 1 Rabbit!! :wink: :lol:
10-09-2009, 04:07 PM
#35
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 1,922
Well i might get a lot of slack for htis but this is for the Chevy guys.........
Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.
Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?
Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q.How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.
Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop
Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.
Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?
Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his Chevy into the shop
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his Silverado got stuck.
Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
Q: How do you double the value of a Chevy?
A: Put gas in it.
Q: How is a golf ball different from a Chevy?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.
Q: Why are there sidewalks beside streets?
A: So Chevy owners have a safe place to walk home.
Q: How much wood could a GM truck haul if a GM truck could haul wood?
A: As much as the Ford towing it.
Q. Why do Chevys have magnetized bumpers
A. To pick up the parts that fall off other Chevys
Q. How do you make a Chevy accelerate 0-60 mph in less than 15 seconds?
A. Push it off a cliff.
Q. What is found on the last two pages of every Chevy's owners manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Q. What did the auto parts counterman say when the customer said, "I'll take a set of wiper blades for my Chevy"?
A. Sounds like a fair trade.
Q. What do you call a Chevy at the top of a hill?
A. A miracle?
Q. What do you call two Chevy's at the top of a hill?
A. A mirage.
Q. What do you call a Chevy with brakes?
A. Customized.
Q.How do you make a Chevy go faster down hill?
A. Turn the engine off.
Q. Why don't Chevy's sustain much damage in front end collisions?
A. The tow truck takes most of the impact.
Q. What do you call Chevy passengers?
A. Shock absorbers.
Q. How do you improve the appearance of a Chevy?
A. Park it between two Fords
Q. Whats the difference between a Chevy and a shopping cart?
A. A shopping cart is easier to push.
Q. Why did GM put heaters in the tailgates of their new trucks?
A. To keep their hands warm when they are pushing the truck into the shop
Q. Why are the new GM trucks more aerodynamic?
A. So they will save the Fords gas when the Ford tows them away.
Q. What did the Ford say to the Chevy?
A. Would you like a tow home?
Q. How can they improve the new Chevy truck?
A. Put a Ford engine in it.
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To push his Chevy into the shop
Q. Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A. Because his Silverado got stuck.
Q. Why are the Chevy dealerships giving away a dog with every purchase
A. So the owners have someone to walk home with.
CHEVROLET= Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle On Long Extended Trips.
CHEVROLET= Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time.
CHEVROLET= Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks, Engine Ticks.
CHEVROLET= Cheap Heavy Equipment, Very Rusty, Overly Loved, Eventually Towed
CHEVY= Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet
GMC= Garage Man's Companion
GMC= Garbage Manufacturing Company
GMC= Gotta Mechanic Coming
GMC= Gay Mans Chariot
GM= General Mistake
GM= Glued Metal
10-09-2009, 04:11 PM
#36
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 1,922
And I cant leave MOPAR out of it. So here ya go ...........
MOPAR.............
Most Often Parked At Roadside
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare
MOPAR.............
Most Often Parked At Roadside
Move Over, Power Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain't Runnin'
Move Over People Are Racing
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Motor On Pavement After Race
Moments Of Power Are Rare
10-09-2009, 05:12 PM
#37
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Augusta, Ga.
Posts: 2,276
Ford
Fixed or Repaird Daily
Found On Road Dead
Chevrolet
Climbs Hills, Eats Vegas, Runs Over Little Etty Trucks. ( Like Fords)
I had a friend that had a tattoo of an F150 on his calf. It leaked oil all over his foot!!
Fixed or Repaird Daily
Found On Road Dead
Chevrolet
Climbs Hills, Eats Vegas, Runs Over Little Etty Trucks. ( Like Fords)
I had a friend that had a tattoo of an F150 on his calf. It leaked oil all over his foot!!
10-10-2009, 01:12 PM
#40
Member
CRAFTSMAN
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Goodyear, AZ 85338
Posts: 62
from the government.
DUE TO RECENT ECONOMIC CONDITIONS, AND THE RISING COST OF ELECTRICITY, GAS AND OIL, THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL HAS BEEN TURNED OFF.
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.
WE APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.