BEST JOKE YOU GOT...CLEAN.
10-02-2009, 04:08 PM
#13
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: LICKSKILLET , MISSISSIPPI
Posts: 1,466
Originally Posted by slowmotion
Bob and Larry were fishing one day near a bridge. As funeral procession neared the bridge Bob stood up in the boat and removed hat. As the hearse crossed the bridge, Bob bowed his head and tear came to his eye. After it passed he sat back down in the boat and resumed fishing. Larry said "Bob, I've never seen you get that emotional about a passing funeral". Bob replied "What do expect? I was married to her for over 20 years".
10-02-2009, 05:19 PM
#14
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,523
Joke
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married -- for the fourth time.
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
'He's a funeral director,' she answered.
'Interesting,' the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers.
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
10-03-2009, 06:56 AM
#16
Senior Member
SENIOR BUILDER
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Newburgh, IN
Posts: 106
Re: Joke
Originally Posted by fla1976
She smiled and explained, 'I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.'
10-04-2009, 08:01 AM
#18
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Augusta, Ga.
Posts: 2,276
Originally Posted by Tod74
President Obama
ops:
Originally Posted by nofear69
10-04-2009, 08:26 AM
#19
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Augusta, Ga.
Posts: 2,276
General Cosgrove was interviewed on the radio recently.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and
children.
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an
ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching
children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before
they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are
you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
You'll love his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and
children.
This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of an
ABC interview between a female broadcaster and General Cosgrove who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military headquarters.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
So, General Cosgrove, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery and shooting.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching
children?
GENERAL COSGROVE:
I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before
they even touch a firearm.
FEMALE INTERVIEWER:
But you're equipping them to become violent killers.
GENERAL COSGROVE:
Well, Ma'am, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are
you?
The radio went silent and the interview ended.
