Elected officials
09-01-2009, 01:44 PM
#1
Senior Member
RACING JUNKIE
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,523
Elected officials
A DC airport ticket agency offers some examples of
'why' our country is in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter)
ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by
being near the window. (On an airplane!)
I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer
(Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa''.
his response -- click.
A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called,
furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with
the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of
the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called
and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the
reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
''I heardDallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to
drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.
She needed to know how it was possible that her flight fromDetroit
left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
the plane went fast, and she bought that.
A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked,
''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it.
(I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code
forFresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline
was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about
a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,
''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D)
from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have
numbers on them.''
Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question
about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that
she needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of
the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every
airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE
TO BREED. (and we elect them)
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
'why' our country is in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman (Carol Shea-Porter)
ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by
being near the window. (On an airplane!)
I got a call from a Kansas Congressman's (Moore) staffer
(Howard Bauleke), who wanted to go to Capetown. I started to explain the length
of the flight and the passport information, and then he interrupted me with,
''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but Capetown is in Massachusetts.''
Without trying to make him look stupid, I calmly explained,
''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa''.
his response -- click.
A senior Vermont Congressman (Bernie Sanders) called,
furious about a Florida package we did. I asked what was wrong with
the vacation in Orlando. He said he was expecting an ocean-view room.
I tried to explain that's not possible, since Orlando is in the middle of
the state.
He replied, 'don't lie to me, I looked on the map and Florida is a very thin
state!'' (OMG)
I got a call from a lawmaker's wife (Landra Reid) who asked, ''Is it possible to see England from Canada?''
I said, ''No.''
She said, ''But they look so close on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
An aide for a cabinet member (Janet Napolitano) once called
and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas. I pulled up the
reservation and noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas.
When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said,
''I heardDallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to
drive between gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
An Illinois Congresswoman (Jan Schakowsky) called last week.
She needed to know how it was possible that her flight fromDetroit
left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago at 8:33 a.m.
I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois, but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her
the plane went fast, and she bought that.
A New York lawmaker, (Jerrold Nadler) called and asked,
''Do airlines put your physical description on your bag so they
know whose luggage belongs to whom?''
I said, 'No, why do you ask?'
He replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the airline, they put a tag
on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I think
that's very rude!''
After putting him on hold for a minute, while I looked into it.
(I was dying laughing). I came back and explained the city code
forFresno, Ca. is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline
was just putting a destination tag on his luggage.
A Senator John Kerry aide (Lindsay Ross) called to inquire about
a trip package to Hawaii. After going over all the cost info, she asked,
''Would it be cheaper to fly to California and then take the train to Hawaii?''
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman, Bobby Bright (D)
from Ala who asked, ''How do I know which plane to get on?''
I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied,
''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these planes have
numbers on them.''
Senator Dianne Feinstein (D) called and said, ''I need to fly to
Pepsi-Cola, Florida. Do I have to get on one of those little
computer planes?''
I asked if she meant fly to Pensacola, FL on a commuter plane.
She said, ''Yeah, whatever, smarty!''
Mary Landrieu (D) La. Senator called and had a question
about the documents she needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded her that
she needed a visa.
'Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to
have one of those.''
I double checked and sure enough, her stay required a visa.
When I told her this she said, ''Look, I've been to China
four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!''
A New Jersey Congressman (John Adler) called to make reservations,
''I want to go from Chicago to Rhino, New York."
I was at a loss for words. Finally, I said, ''Are you sure that's the name of
the town?''
'Yes, what flights do you have?'' replied the man.
After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm sorry, sir, I've looked up every
airport code in the country and can't find a rhino anywhere."
''The man retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone knows where it is.
Check your map!''
So I scoured a map of the state of New York and finally offered,
''You don't mean Buffalo, do you?''
The reply? ''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.''
Now you know why the Government is in the shape that
it's in!
Could anyone be this DUMB?
YES, THEY WALK AMONG US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE
TO BREED. (and we elect them)
I don't write it, I just offer it for your consideration.
Like manure, you just gotta spread it around.
